So, just when I was saying how my whole life was about writing and wearing my PJ's, like all the time - I went and got myself a date with a powerpoint presentation in front of 60 super-important people at publisher HQ!

It wasn't my ideal choice of dates but it was with some rather important people from the world of schmooze who could potentially make Lola a big star, so I had to work it for my girl, right?!

My ed-girl, probably for the best, had NOT warned me quite how big this whole thing was.
Now HC are a big-ass publisher, they print books by crazy-famous types and instead of the famous-type books greeting me on arrival, the entire foyer was filled with Lola Love books, my books - whoop, whoop!
Everywhere I looked, Lola was working it on the cover of style="font-style:italic;">Think Pink and bathing in fabulousness on the cover of Beauty*Licious, I was giddy.

In fact, I was giddy and I was beyond nervous.

And the nerves did NOT go away.
I was briefed on what I had to say by my ed-girl and ed-girl's boss - yep, that's how important it was, there were bosses of bosses - 'cept when all these super-important people came into the room I froze. I got a serious attack of the frights. I got pink in the face, I stumbled on words and for the first time in a long time I really felt scared.

Y'see, I'm actually quite a shy girl. I know it's hard to believe, but I've learned a whole lot of Think Pink techniques to make sure I'm able to do all the fab stuff I want to do in the world, but speaking in public, well, that freaks me out.

When I worked as a youth worker, I loved talking to young people, but if I had to talk to a group of people I worked with, I would get so nervous, that sometimes I'd ring in sick just so I didn't have to do it.

It wasn't 'til I worked the pink thinkin', that I realised I wouldn't get good unless I practiced, so that's what I did.
I learned to prepare, know my stuff, take deep breaths and speak clearly and slowly - except yesterday, I couldn't flick the pink switch.

I was prepared, and I deffo know my stuff - it was all about Lola for goodness sake, but I'd forgotten to channel my inner fabulousness, I hadn't taken five minutes to take deep breaths, instead I'd spent my prep time getting all eaten up with worry.

It was all over before it had begun. I'd felt the fear and I did it anyway. My first instinct was to run, but I muddled my way through with cheeks so pink they matched my Bnevertoobusytobebeautiful lipstick, but the important thing was I did it. I didn't do it well, but I did it. I messed up, but I did it.

Luckily, my ed-girl and my ed-girl's boss worked their much-practiced magic on the crowd, reminding them just how fabulous Lola is and that they should all totally fall in love with her.

My ed-girl told me that my nerves had translated as passion, and that these usually crazy-cynical types had actually liked me, so much so, that they stayed after the presentation to discuss my concept with me, the crazy pink cheeked lady and some even asked me to sign books for them...

Turns out not being perfect is really okay.
That's not to say that I won't try harder next time to be better, because I will, I wanna be good at what I do, but I also won't beat myself up for not being perfect this time round...

On the way home, I got on the tube to Waterloo with an amazing looking woman, she was about 70 and had a whole lady-about-town look going on. She had a full face of make-up and was ultra-glam. She pulled me to her side and said, "Well, don't you look just fabulous, I love all your colour, the world needs more people like you."
How adorable is that?

And just in case there was any teensy tiny bad thoughts left over this morning, The Man put on the Hairspray soundtrack and made me dance it out! There really is nothing like a Hairspray soundtrack to turn a frown upside down.